The mid-life bug: Is time a friend or a foe?

 Is time a friend or a foe?

I used to say time is on my side… That I have a lifetime to accomplish all my goals.

But recently, I have this feeling that time is running out. There are so many things to do. So many dreams to fulfill. So many goals to achieve. And yet SO LITTLE TIME. In the average lifespan of Filipinos at 70, i have already crossed the mid-point.

Must be the mid-life bug again. And i hate this feeling.  Thought I’m over and done with it. Grrrr….

The bug started when a couple of weeks ago, a US-based friend and her husband came for a short break. We were six barkadas way back in college and while in her previous visits (or on occasions when i was the one visiting her in the states), the discussions would be the latest chismis in Manila and other mundane things, I was actually amused that our topics lately have shifted to a new level of sort.

Oh boy, we were talking about children (theirs, not mine), growing families, careers,… and retirement. Yes, retirement! Gosh, i never gave it a serious thought until that fateful dinner.

That’s when I realized, "Oo nga ano… I am already into my late 30s. I guess it’s high time I should plan my future and prepare for old age…" When I started to think about that, it became clear that i have so many things in my "TO DO" list and wondered whether or not i will be able to achieve all in a lifetime… *sigh*  So many things to do, so little time.

I have to step back a little and may be, one of these days, I will get a clearer perspective and i will be able to chart my directions smoothly.

But as early as now, there are top three "TO DO" in my list which are non-negotiable. These are:

1.) I will retire at age 50 (that’s 12 years from now). I cant imagine myself working full time in a company when i reach that age. I want to own my time by then… (If I am still with my present company by that time, eligible na ko to retire coz that will be my 16th year there)

2.) I want to write a book. I also intend to pursue my other passions/ hobbies which had to take a back seat at this time. I want to pursue painting, fashion designing, and teaching even. I won’t mind studying again to take related courses.

3.) Travel. A psychic friend told me once that in my previous life, I was a gypsy. Well, Gypsy or not, I want to travel the world. If only money is not a problem, I would love to revisit again the 40 or so countries (and really explore these places) that I was fortunate to visit while i was in my 20s.

Only time can tell if I will be able to do all these. It is my hope that in the end, time will prove to be a friend…